You’d probably have counted the number people you have loved till present day. But it is said that we only ever fall in love with 3 people in a lifetime and each for a different purpose.
It is believed that we need each of these for a different reason.
The First Love – The Love That Feels Right
Ah, the young and foolish love. Something about it defies all logic. It is the idealistic love. It find us when we are young and takes over our youth. It fulfills our fantasy of a happily-ever-after fairytale story and we convince ourselves that this is how love is supposed to be. All our actions are borne out of our conceived impression that this is true love. But alas, we’ll learn the hard way that love isn’t as simple as what we knew it to be and it has many layers.
“The first stab of love is like a sunset, a blaze of color — oranges, pearly pinks, vibrant purples…”
― Anna Godbersen, The Luxe
The Second Love – The Love We Wished Was Right
I’m afraid this love is the hardest and one that will hurt the most, yet we will find ourselves insisting on it. This is the one we wish was right (having thought we learnt our lesson), rather than thinking whether it should. It can turn out unhealthy, narcissistic, complete with drama and emotional rollercoasters, or even abuse. And yet we stick through it like a junkie obsessed with the idea of being able to fix it. It runs the danger of getting in a cycle if we are not able to face those issues and make things work. But we will learn valuable lessons about who we are as an individual and how we desire to be loved.
“Because love was a thing of beauty—intoxicating, addictive, demanding, attentive, and always, always hungry.”
— Leylah Attar (The Paper Swan)
The Third Love – The Love That No One Saw Coming
This one’s like a curve ball and happens when we least expect it to. It destroys all notion of love we had. It is not the love we imagined and seems completely impossible. Yet, we will ease into it without explanation. Past (unrealistic) expectations are replaced by an immense sense of mutual respect for the other individual. The passion we have keeps the spark alive and the emotional support we give each other keeps us glued. It is not a storm but a peace in the storm. It seems to have been knocking on our doors regardless of how long it took us to answer. It shows us why other loves didn’t work. It is a love that lasts even though we are not “perfect” individuals.
“The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.”
— Stephen Kendrick (The Love Dare)
Some have been lucky enough to marry their first loves, while others have had heartbreaks after another before finding someone. Wherever you are on this journey, we hope you find a love that truly makes you happy, whether it is with someone else or being perfectly complete by yourself.
Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.